Lent

I really wish I had done more this lent. I know it's not over yet or not too late. I don't know what's wrong with me. With everything that's been going on with work I just have been in such an awful head space that it's been impossible to get my head around Lent. One of the main things I wanted to do ( I don't give anything up for Lent, I always try and do something extra) was find more time for God. I have actually managed to decrease the time I usually find for him in my day to day life. I have been attending morning prayer every morning, making more of a concious effort to do this than usual although I have been better at this recently anyway, but I wanted to get to mass every morning, but because I have been so tired this hasn't been possible in my mornings and find more time to spend just me and him, and  I haven't done that once since Ash Wednesday and I usually do this once a week! I'm so frustrated. And my excuse and reason I haven't managed it is because my head has been in such a bad place, but if annything this should have acted as a reason for doing it more! My head is such a mess because I haven't found enough time to be with just God. I don't know why I'm finding it so hard to find that time. Even now as I type this I keep avoiding it. I don't know why, am I scared? I never have been before. I don't understand what's happening really. Doesn't help right now when I need my faith most it appears to be shaken. I'm looking forward so much to Lourdes. I hope when there my faith is renewed and I am given strength. I am scared I may not have time for this tho with the kids. I will have to make sure I find time. So essential I get what I need out of it.
Complete fail at Lent though. I'm so disappointed.