Just going through this blog...

Firstly, if you're reading this and have been through my blog, thankyou.
I can imagine it may be quite a hard read. As the description says, its brutally honest. I talk about things that many don't want to. That's who I am. But I know some people don't want to listen. People could criticise me to high heaven for this blog because I am literally wearing my heart on my sleeve, everything is there for people to see. I have nothing hidden. That's who I am. Maybe this is because my illness was a hidden illness and my greatest frustration was that people couldn't and still can't see it. I would be screaming out for help but noone knew what was going on. Therefore I hate having a hidden layer that noone can see.... possibly.
But I also hope that some of it will make you smile. Some of the lyrics may make you hear them in a whole new way. You may see a song that you used to love and will fall in love with again. I also want people to know my story and be inspired by it (??) or at least given hope by it. I don't expect that to happen through this blog as not many people read it, but oneof the biggest problems with my illness is my thoughts can be so muddled and not make sense, they are running around in my head constantly and my mind is on overtime. This blog helps me get some of these thoughts out to stop my headaches! And I don't think I can be slated for that. However I do choose to publish my story, this blog has helped me organise what I would want in that story. So this blog helps me in ways people just don't understand.
However, my guessing is that not many people are reading this. I am not afraid to talk about the stuff I talk about in this blog to those I know, but I haven't told many people about the blog. Yes it's on my facebook and twitter pages but who takes notice? A few people know about it but don't follow it. I'm not afraid for friends and family to read it, I'm not ashamed. But for example, I think my mum might be shocked I am prepared to talk so openly, I think friends won't understand it and slate it instead. I guess I am afraid of people failing to understand it and so slating it. Therefore I keep it to myself mainly, as it is serviing it's purpose as it is. There is a definite fear that if friends and family follow it closely and start picking at it it will lose its purpose for me.
But anyway, the whole point of this post....
Throughout the blog I put up lyrics, quotes etc that many would associate with those who have been victims of abuse, violence, have lost parents, are in care etc. Hard hitting stories that we hear of everyday and campaign about widely and try as hard as possible to raise awareness about. Many would argue that myself, someone who has been raised with a huge, loving, caring family who are wealthy and have cared for me so well to have any experience of what those people have gone through. I believe my depression as a clinical illness, which not only put me in hospital, needed treatment with therapy for 6 years of my life and for which I am still taking medication for but also darkened my world, sent me into a place where I experienced the same pain as those people. If you don't have any experience of depression this is something you just won't understand. If there was a girl who had been raped stood next to me and you were asked who was going through the worse experience, all would say straight away the poor girl who has been raped. I do not believe my need to be greater than theirs. I believe that I can sympathise with their pain because I have experienced such pain myself.
So when you go through my blog you may think her life aint so tough, she needs to get over it. Which is fair enough if you dont understand. I get that. But then I ask that you please just don't follow my blog. For it would no longer be serving its purpose for me.
Thanks