The journey isn't over yet....

I went on retreat this weekend. I haven't been on retreat for a year and more to the point, I haven't had a break for what feels like longer!
It was amazing. The people were lovely and so kind and we were all so close and laughed so much. I really enjoyed myself and was gutted to say goodbye.
On friday night we went to the beach and all chose a rock. The rock was to journey through the weekend with us and today at mass we were asked to leave it behind. As I was preparing to leave my rock behind I remembered my stone. The heart stone that I bought in Lourdes a year and a half ago. I bought it because I thought it was pretty yet soon it became something I could no longer go through the day without. It lives in my bra and reminds me that Mary and God are watching over me and that I am loved and protected.
I have had many ups and downs over the last year and a half and my life has changed dramatically. I took it in my hands today and considered leaving it behind with my rock. Why? Because I wanted a new start, free of my past, free of the baggage. I wanted a new journey to begin. Also because I'm considering working at the place where the retreat was and currently trying to make the decision to whether I should stay at YCW another year or go. If I left my heart there, maybe it was a sign that its where I should be.
I then remembered May 1st 2010, the day I was commissioned to work for YCW. I sat in mass and held the stone so tightly, I wouldn't let go. I was nervous and it was protecting me. And I haven't let go since, and that's when I realised. My journey is not over yet. My journey with YCW is still going and me and my stone started it together and will finish it together (I know it sounds rediculous!).
And I think I knew this. I want to work out what I want to do next year and part of me thought this would have been an easy way to do it.
The journey continues....