Tuesday 3 April 2012

Who I am today

They say people come into your life for a reason or season. I believe everything happens for a reason, I'm part of a plan, God's plan for me, which he made long ago. And I wanted to reflect on the people he's sent me to help me along the way, angels almost.

The first and most obvious would have to be my sister. I don't think she knows how important she is to me, although I tell her all the time, words can't describe it in full. For a long time she became my only reason to keep fighting. She became and remains to be my absolute strength. She is also the source of much of my happiness. I know it's typically big sister love but I feel mine goes beyond that. From a young age I had to step into my protective big sister shoes and shield her and protect her from harm, comfort her when she cried. I thank God for her in my life, I truly believe I wouldn't be here today without her.

My mum taught me strength. She was my first real example of what it meant to fight. And she taught me well. Whether it's a blessing or a curse, my mum also taught me how to put all others before myself. to care for others before myself. Putting all other needs before my own. And this I believe is what influenced so much in my life - my passion for socail work where you care for others in different settings, my passion for charity work, reaching out a hand to others, my need to be needed, my motherly instincts for friends and my passion for youth work. I never feel it is enough to accept what I have been given but try to give so much more back and give what I have been given to others so they may have what I have.

My dad - I call my dad my inspiration. From a very young age I learnt from him what unconditional love meant. He taught me what it meant to love someone unconditionally, to give so much and expect nothing in return and to do it simply out of love. He taught me what it meant to never ever give up. Not only to never give up on others, but to necver give up on myself. He taught me to believe in myself and what it meant to dream and to strive for my dreams. He also taught me what it meant to never turn your back on a situation or person, no matter how hard it gets and how hard you have to fight.

He who I will not name, he who broke my heart - he taught me how to be careful with my heart. He taught me what being in love truly is as I discovered through my heart ache. He taught me how not all is what it seems and how we think we know someone when we maybe don't. I wouldn't say he was a negative influence on my life, everyone must go through true heart ache to learn what being in love really means. If I felt he was a bad thing in my life I would regret falling in love. But I don't.

There are so many more. Everyone who becomes a part of your life is there for a reason and every single person in your life you learn from and grow and it makes up who you are. the four above are just the strongest ones who really stand out.